What is your "WHY" Will it carry you through any Obstacle?

10 Things To Know About Real Love

My God, these folks don't know how to love - that's why they love so easily.  - David Herbert Lawrence

Many people want to be in relationships without really having a clue what it is all about or what they're all about. 

Real love is akin to getting married, having babies or even getting a dog. Many people have some romantic fantasy about all these things without looking at the work involved or the responsibility or the commitment required. Some think more about the dj they want at the wedding, the theme colors for the wedding, the gurgling and happy baby or the fun-loving puppy. They don’t think about how to live with a person every day, dealing with a colicky baby keeping you up all night or a “mouthy” puppy who ate the sofa. Each of these wonderful things have another side that you must acknowledge going in, or else you will fail at them. Divorcerates run high, dogs are dropped off at shelters and cranky babies are often ignored or, worse, mistreated. One reason is that the responsibility inherent in marriage, parenthoodand pet ownership is often ignored in exchange for the "fun" idealized version of these things.

Being able to love and be loved for many years in a good and healthy way takes work.  It takes resisting urges and pandering to basic instincts.  It's about making a decision not to do things that would wreck your relationship or hurt your partner.  And that includes things like calling someone a name, being selfish when you need to help out, not acknowledging or caring about any of your partner's needs, and having an affair.  It includes big and little things.  Love is an action, love is work and love is a decision.

It doesn't take work to be in a dysfunctional relationship or to take someone hostage.  People do it all the time...sick relationships are the same old same old over and over again.  Taking someone hostage or allowing yourself to be taken hostage is boring and predictable.  It might be chaotic, destructive and dramatic, but again, boring...same old same old.

To love someone, REALLY love someone who really loves you is about being a good and sane and supportive and caring partner...knowing how to understand and compromise...knowing to accept your partner for who he or she is without trying to change them.

It's not about taking someone away from that which they love or those which they love.  It's not about co-signing their craziness with the world...it's not about being locked into some strange desperation with each other, hoping and praying that no one cracks the shell.  Too many sick relationships depend on each person convincing the other that the world is out to get one or both of them.

Both Getting Past Your Breakup and Getting Back Out There emphasize that real love is an ENLARGING experience and sick or dysfunctional love is a NARROWINGexperience.  And anything that is enlarging comes with work and responsibilities.  Responsibility to self and to another. A couple must support each other's hopes, dreams, and aspirations.

GBOT outlines what a healthy relationship looks like.  If you're not there yet, you can start to work on what you will and will not do to nurture yourself and your idea of what a healthy relationship is. There are some things you can do that will GUARANTEE a healthy relationship:

1.  To find the right person, be the right person.  Before you get back into a relationship, build your life.  Do your grief work.  Finish your unfinished business.  BecomeOBJECTIVE about what went wrong in your last relationship and the relationships before that. Do your relationship inventory and your life inventory.  You must discover the patterns and habits that torpedoed your previous relationships before you get into a new one. If you're in a relationship and you're trying to salvage it or save it, you must figure out and heal that which has been hurting you and your relationship.  Not just you but both of you.  If one partner changes, the other partner is forced to change or leave. You cannot maintain the status quo when one of you chooses to change.

2.  To be the right person and to find real love, you must develop your boundaries. Know what you stand for before you have to stand for it.  Is an affair a deal breaker?  Pornaddiction?  Pot addiction?  Getting drunk and sloppy?  Forgetting to call?  Standing you up?  Not being financially stable?  Not paying child support? Not holding a job? Not being honest? What?  What will you NOT stand for?  You have to know this BEFORE you are tested.  You have to be able to say, "If x happens, I am out of here without argument."

Make sure you know what would be a deal breaker for you is and then make sure you break the deal if it happens...not three times or two times but ONE TIME.  Make sure you are committed to walking away the first time a deal breaker happens.  If there are other things that you think deserve a second chance then commit to walking away the second time or if it's a three-time rule, then three times.  But after 3 times, you're basically lying to yourself.  Learn to walk away for what you believe in. Otherwise you'll just be stuck in dysfunction again and bargaining with yourself in order to accept what you shouldn't accept.

3. Real love communicates in a healthy way.  Name calling is out.  Blaming and nitpicking is out. Accusations are out. Learn to begin sentences with "I feel" or "I think" or "In my opinion," and be with others who communicate similarly.  Don't let anyone project onto you what you are thinking or feeling.  Don't defend yourself against that which you're not doing.  There is much game playing in dysfunctional relationships. Healthy relationships are about forthright and honest communication, not game playing, unbridled criticism or one upmanship.  The only way to win in relationships is not to play a game.

4. Real love requires goals and aspirations, both individually and as a couple. You have to have plans and dreams and agree on the future.  You must help each other fulfill your hopes and dreams as individuals and as a couple. Figure out what you've always wanted to do and do it.  Find out what your partner wants in life and out of life. Figure out, early on, if you can and will support each other in achieving everything you've always wanted as a person and as a couple.  It is important that you figure this out very early on. You could get to a place in your relationship where you find that your hopes and dreams and what you want for your life is opposed to what your partner wants. You have to find this out early because it's so important to have a support in life and to be able to support your partner's hopes and dreams as well as to have common aspirations for you as a couple.

5. As a prelude to finding real love, learn to be discriminating in all your relationships with family, friends, acquaintances, and co-workers.  Learn to make choices and not just let friendships and professional relationships "happen." Don't spend time with family just because they're family. Choose to only have those in your life who are loving, respectful, honest and open, and care about you.  Choose people who KNOWtrust is earned and once broken, it's next to impossible to get it back.  Choose people who do not keep you guessing.  Choose people that you don't need to wonder "Gee, what does that behavior mean?" or "How do they really feel?" or "Do they miss me?" or "Do they love me?"

Choose people who say what they mean and mean what they say.  Choose people who are not ambivalent about you or their relationship with you.  Insist on dedication and commitment and if it's not there, say goodbye.  Don't put up with people who say, "I'm confused." or "I don't know." or "I gotta be me." or "You're a problem." or "I want to be a good partner, but I don't know how."  You get what you put up with.  If you want less nonsense in your life, stop putting up with nonsense. If you start by ferreting out those in your life who are not romantic partners, you will find it easier to reject those who will not make good and healthy partners for you. Real love is discriminating and insists upon loving treatment no matter what.

6.  STOP BEING A VICTIM.  Stop thinking you have no control over what happens TO you.  It doesn't just happen without your permission.  Take some control over your own life.  Most people who are stuck in sick patterns (including me when I was) are stuck in a mudpit of denial, justification and rationalization.  Learn to call yourself on your own rationalizations.  Stop believing your own justifications and rationalizations that keep you stuck and "victimized." No one is going to feel sorry for you and no one should. You need to untangle yourself from any need you might have to be pitied. You might not even realize it, but if you find yourself telling stories in which you were taken advantage of or someone did you wrong and the stories are to generate sympathy, stop and realize that going through as a victim is not attractive to healthy people. Take charge of your life and yourself and what happens to you day in and day out.

7.  Live with PURPOSE. Spend some quiet time alone each day without interruption to think about your life and how it's structured. Think about what you need to do to "get better" in different areas.  Learn to meditate by getting quiet and relaxing.  Meditation is not sitting on a pillow going "ohmmmm," it's just learning to calm down and go inward without distraction.  Living purposefully is the opposite of living randomly. It's about thinking about what you're doing when you're doing it.  It's about not looking at your phone every 10 minutes, it's about not mindlessly surfing the internet or checking Facebook 200 times a day.  It's about having your head where your feet are. Look around you, see what's going on where you are at this very minute.

Learn to be disciplined and control your urges from being tied to your phone, to diving into ice cream when you're not happy to not doing many things without really thinking about it . It's about doing the "tough" things like sitting with your feelings, going to the gym or dentist and eating healthy. Spend some time each day thinking about your impulses and your somewhat mindless behavior and ways in which you can improve in self-control and self-discipline. Quiet time each day is so important to building a healhty life. Try to stretch it out. Set goals for yourself in building the amount of time you can spend every day in quiet meditation and purposeful action and purposeful inaction.  Having a say in everything you do and everything you don't do is important to being healthy and being capable of giving and receiving real love.

It is also important, when you do get to a relationship, to continue to cultivate this practice and to have your own "me time" and alone time each and every day.

8. Know that real love does not hurt.  Yes there are misunderstandings and upsets and disappointments in every relationship but in healthy relationships they are not a regular happening. Real love and really loving relationships are consistent and not always that easy but they tend to run smoothly because everyone is working at it.  If it's a hassle, it doesn't need to be that way.  Know that life and love can and should run smoothly most of the time.  Love is what helps you deal with the curves that life throws at you.  It's not what makes things more difficult.  Love, real love, is support in a crazy world, not something that makes your life even crazier. Real love gives each other the benefit of the doubt without being a fool about it. Pick your battles and don't fight over everything. Don't be with people who turn everything into an argument or a challenge. It's exhausting and doesn't need to be that way. Healthy people find that mind numbing and refuse to live that way.

9. Real love does not ask us to sacrifice that which we love.  Not our interests, not our hobbies, not our people...friends and family.  If someone is asking you to do that, it's not healthy and not good for you.  If you're willing to do that without even being asked, even worse. 

It's normal to be cocoon'd in a new relationship but after a short period of time, you have to get back to the things and the people you love. Keep your life balanced and full of that which you love and those whom you love.  If you give up what you love and the people you love, you will look around one day and realize you can't leave this relationship because you have nothing else. You may need to rework the ratios of how much time you give to each of your interests and loved ones, but it's important that nothing is treated as an afterthought or something that you could live without.

10. The most important thing to know about real love is that love is an action from you and to you.  NO MATTER WHAT.  And act it and insist on it every single day. Every single day, whether in a relationship or not, you must affirm that love is what you do, not what you say, and you must insist upon it with everyone in your life. If it's a "non-love" relationship (i.e. professional), respect is an action and you must be treated with respect in all your relationships.

Stop idealizing love.  Forget movies and music and poetry. Real love is a complicated reality based on a very simple concept: love is an action. It is what you DO, not what you say. Love is the way you treat someone. Love is being a good friend and a good partner to someone you are romantically involved with.  It's about showing someone you love how you feel each and every day. Mistreating someone and saying, "You know I love you..." is not okay to do or to accept. If you love someone, you do not mistreat or disrespect them. If you live by the notion that "love is an action," you will never ever ever get go wrong.

If people understood what real love entailed they would be less inclined to go in and out of relationships where they will experience anything but...

Use your time OUT of a relationship wisely...to build what you need to be IN a healthy relationship...and then build it. 

Are you groggy all day?

Bully, sleaze, & lie?‏

For most of us, cold calling is extremely unpleasant because you're uninvited, and they're busy, and you need something, and they don't. Ask yourself: Does anybody get up in the morning thinking, "Boy, I've got a very busy day today. I hope at least a dozen people call on me today trying to sell me stuff or set up appointments to sell me stuff."

Many will buy books and tapes that teach dozens of ways to bully, sleaze, and lie their way into their prospect's heads. But in the end, you are still an uninvited pest. Not fun to be with and not fun to have to deal with. Is it any wonder that your prospects are always "out" or "in the shower"?

Because cold calling is so unpleasant, most salespeople devise dozens of time-wasting techniques to avoid doing it. Meticulous activity logs. Endless "research" on the Web. "Networking" or should I say gossip calls with other struggling friends. Calling people you know will be unavailable and not leaving a voice mail. Filling out time management tools. Counting their paperclips and organizing their office. (Don't laugh, it happens all the time!).

Does this approach make a person better?

Does it benefit the prospect? Anyone?                 

What's missing?

To answer these questions, you need to get the Color To Success CD Training. In it, you will discover ways to get the prospects to raise their hands and say "Yes". You will be shown the most important factor when calling prospects, and much, much more.

http://cpeeters.colortosuccess.com/

To Your Success,

Chris Peeters

Chrispeeters8705@hotmail.com 

Chapter 12 - The Subconscious Mind

Hill writes "The subconscious mind will not remain idle! If you fail 
to plant DESIRES in your subconscious mind, it will feed upon the 
thoughts which reach it as the result of your neglect."

I don’t think anyone really wants to live their life as the result of 
neglect. But have we, and are we living our life as a result of neglect? 

Have we done things in our lives because we knew others expected us 
to live a certain way? Did we do things in our lives because we were 
too concerned about what others may have thought about us? Do we still 
conduct our lives the way we do because of how much we are thinking about 
what others think?

If we have or are doing these things, I believe we are living as a 
result of our neglect.

We can also live as a result of our neglect by not doing the things 
we know we should be doing. 

Michael tells us, if you don’t have the results you want in your 
business, get more e-book downloads. Yet we can fool ourselves 
into thinking we are doing all we can do, when in fact, we waste 
a lot of time on things that really don’t matter and thereby what 
we get are the results of our neglect.

Hill tells us “You may VOLUNTARILY plant in your subconscious mind 
any plan, thought, or purpose which you desire to translate into its 
physical or monetary equivalent.”

What we see, what we hear, what we learn, what we allow into our 
minds has a tremendous effect upon every one of us. It has an effect 
on how we grow and develop.

To change the habits we have acquired, we need to practice doing the 
things we need to do, to result the change we want. We need to 
practice beyond the point of learning so the task becomes habit, 
whether it be in thinking or in action. First get good at it, and 
only then can we practice doing it better.

This awesome Lesson Plan Was written by My good friend And Fellow mentor Tuula Rands

570-Pound Man Commits to Finishing a 5K Per Month in 2015

  

Derek Mitchell knew he was in last place. 

“I hadn’t even gotten to the first mile, and they were already opening up intersections behind me,” Mitchell said. “I tried to put it out of my mind.”

But Mitchell stayed focused on his goal of completing 3.1 miles at the Big 12 Run in Kansas City, Missouri, where he lives. At 570 pounds, it didn’t matter what the clock read at the finish. He just wanted to reach the finish.

The Big 12 Run wasn’t Mitchell’s first attempt at the distance. He tried to do one last year but had to drop out.   

“That took me down a notch or two,” Mitchell said.  

So on January 1, Mitchell, who weighs 570 pounds, decided to cut soda out of his diet, eat healthier, and go for daily walks, starting with just one mile a day. Then his sister, a marathon runner who races frequently, suggested he sign up for a 5K.  

“I decided that, starting in March, I would do at least on 5K each month for the rest of the year,” Mitchell, 34, told Runner's World Newswire. “I’ve already been talked into two in May. I want to try and lose five minutes off of each one, but at this point, I just want to finish.”

Mitchell, who is a regional support technician for Cabela’s, the hunting and fishing gear retailer, chose the Big 12 Run, an event that also hosts a 12K which shares the 5K’s start and finish lines, to launch his streak. 

“By the end of the year, I'll have finished 11 5Ks, which, just thinking about [the fact that] I'll have walked 55 kilometers is a little daunting. But I'm looking forward to it.”

Mitchell said he wants to shed at least 250 pounds along the way.      

With that in mind during the race, Mitchell kept pressing forward alone for the next mile and a half—save for a police car shadowing him. Just before the 2-mile mark, the 12K runners who had split off earlier in the race, rejoined the 5K runners on the course.

“I’ve volunteered at several races before, and there’s this one guy that I love seeing—he’s a paraplegic who uses a handbike—who I saw zip by as a part of the 12K group,” Mitchell said. “I was like, ‘Wow, I’m not alone anymore!’”

Then the other 12K runners began cheering Mitchell onward.

“It was really cool because a lot of them were exhausted, but nearly every one of them gave me high-fives and told me, ‘Good job!’” Mitchell said. “It was really encouraging that everybody was so awesome.”

Coming down the final stretch, Mitchell's feet and knees were “killing” him.

“As soon as I saw that finish line and hear everybody yelling, all the pain that I’d been feeling up until that point vanished,” Mitchell said. “I booked it. I couldn’t go as fast as I’d wanted to because I’d already lost some weight and my pants started falling down. But it was just amazing.” He finished in 1:27:44.

After the race, NBC2 News picked up his story. The article and video sparked a flood of messages from supporters to Mitchell’s personal Facebook profile, which inspired his sister to create a community page for him. 

Even before the race, Mitchell posted updates about his daily walks, inviting others to join him. Now strangers around the country are saying they’d like to race a 5K with him if he’s ever in town.

“Originally, I started this for myself because I needed to get healthy,” Mitchell said. “But it's amazing the way you can inspire people to get up and get moving just by doing something simple like finishing a 5K.”  

Hmmm makes you really think doesnt it? If he can do it whats your excuse?

What kinds of Headlines Grab you?

Take a look at the index for the "Success In 10 Steps" ebook by Michael Dlouhy. You will see 93 - count em! - 93 bullets under the 10 chapter headings.

The purpose of every one of these bullets is to give you an idea for the first sentence of a classified ad designed to get the reader to download the ebook ... which is a lead for you. Every single bullet has some element in it that might arouse a prospect's curiousity - and YOU have the ability to make these bullets even more effective.

When you advertise your ebook to get leads, go over the Index. Read all the bullet points and see if one or two really grab your attention. Jot down a short list of keywords - e.g., leads, prospects, extra income, money from home, etc. - and read down the list of Index bullets.

What NEW ideas do you come up with for headlines or classified ads? What nugget can you get that would really get someone's attention?

I've never seen any other book or ebook in network marketing written like this - to include all these possible ad wording ideas for you. You are certainly free to come up with your own ads. But as you play around with the "Success In 10 Steps" index, you might discover a real winner that rivets people's attention and gets you the prospects you want. this process is definitley slow at first and can be, But if you use mentoring for free and you stick with it You will find your builders! i Promise!


Chris Peeters
Brandon Manitoba Canada
Download Our Free Ebook By clicking on the Image Below