Years went by and i moved into the place im living in now and we reconnected through a friend. I was in a bad place in my life and full of alot of self hatred and loathing, Plus i had a job which required me to drive but i didnt Have a licence So she decided to be nice and help me. I Was very appreciative and Told her that everytime she got up at 4 am to help me do my job. We then began sleeping together but not really dating at this time. One day i was texting another girl and she caught me, this led to alot of distrust and Problems between us.. of course i did end up lying about other things over the course of time and yes i knew that this was wrong and i did end up fixing it and told her the truth, I however had other problems i was causing in the relationship that severly affected things. I Was Hateful and resentful of myself for many reasons i wont go into specifics about and thus i took it out on her almost constantly, i would criticize her music, her life, her child, etc.. whatever the case may be, HOWEVER i was not alone in this SHE began acting the same way, She would call me down, put down my job, Say hurtful things,I should also mention here that she has NEVER apologized to me for doing any of these things!
she would Pressure me into moving in with her, Gave me ultimatums and more. I then decided it was time to get some help for myself, I ended up leaving her in October of 2012 and decided it was time for the relationship to end, We had no contact for weeks and weeks, She then began calling me almost constantly asking me to take her back but also ACCUSING ME of causing the breakup SOELY by myself, Never admitting her part in anything!!!! I was so reluctant to take her back BUT i did, Why you ask? because i was on a path of change and learning. I wanted to become more humble and Sincere about this change for myself. I took her back and i still had tendencies of my old behavior but it was becoming more and more infrequent, SHE however ended up staying the same, i always felt such a tremendous amount of resentment around her because she acted differently.
I knew in my heart that the love she once had for me was slipping away, However being as determined as i am i STAYED. I know i wanted a different life and i thought t was possible with her, i have recently also become a network marketer and she would NEVER support me in this dream of mine, She would always be telling me "You dont need to be doing that everyday" and would often make me feel guilty if i wasnt spending enough time with her and even would go so far as to accuse me of being emotionally unavailable. I allowed this shit to go on for about 8 months, Then on june 12/2013 it would finally Really be over! We were on a run/walk in the brandon hills and we were talking about things, She mentioned that she wanted to go to prince edward island and visit,
Now what i found strange about all of this is that she has never talked about it before and we use to discuss travelling to different places ALL THE TIME and it would always be about going TOGETHER, however this time around she wanted to go ALONE. wow i thought to myself........ "what the hell is going on here"? We travel back to her place and she decided to have a shower, Me myself i decided to chill out on her computer and I found out her facebook profile was open, so i said "no harm in this i need to know whats going on" i open up her conversation box and i find out shes been talking to this male named todd for about 6 months now, before you judge me let me finish this story!!!! now in no way had i ever had a reason to distrust her up until THIS POINT which is what arose my suspicion, I learned from past relationships how to trust a woman. So i began looking through the inbox and i find messages that are FLIRTATIOUS! Messages about getting together, meeting, Kissing, hugging etc etc. i literally went white, My heart sank and i literally could barely even keep my eyes open. I got up and moved over to the couch and sat down and i said to myself " this is truly over" "no going back she has crossed the line" So im sitting on the couch and im as white as a ghost and she comes out of the shower and says "chris what the fuck is wrong now" I was hestitant to speak and almost couldnt, I then said "well i know now why you want to go to prince edward island" and she said "oh so youve been snooping through my facebook" I said "yes i have" she then told me to get the hell out of her house and her life , naturally i tried to convince her NOT to do this and she was convinced that it was over, I then left the house and I was devastated. I came home and was crushed... depressed, anxious and completley Insane with thoughts and what ifs and if only"s .. I was a mess. but over this time i have come to realize the signs of when a woman is losing interest in you This video will explain more I have Decided its time to master my life even more then i ever thought possible with the aid of Mentoring for free and the 30 day mental cleanse as well as Napoleon hills book Think and grow rich I have also been learning how to control my emotions and understand that Persuing my dream of becoming a leader and profeessional network marketer and this goes in hand in hand with youre recovery! You must also LEARN HOW TO LOVE YOURSELF! tony robbins is amazing speaker and I will post a video under this paragraph to help you begin on the road to owning your life!!!
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